In life, we have all heard of the saying, the pasture is always greener over the fence. By this, it means that we tend to overlook what we have in our possession, but envy and vie for other things that others have. That’s reality, be it in our home, our office and the world at large. And we can apply this to a lot of situation.
Take the case of office. How often we hear of about staff, our bosses or even ourselves sometime lament over what others have and can do. In situation as this, we tend to undermine our own strengths, our abilities and the treasures within us and within our control. When this happens, we tend to see the strengths of the others, and compare them to the weakness of ourselves.
No one is perfect and ideal, as such if we can leverage on the positive, the strengths, we can then combine this for a common purpose, ignoring the negatives and weakness. When we give focus and more importance to the shortcomings, we are then looking for our weakness and criticize basing on these, sidelining and ignoring all the other positive factors accumulated over the years. It is sad to see big bosses, blinded to these, and go for so called best practices, newer breed of people that they believe delivers results and their key performance indicators. When this happens, what I see then is people replacing longer term goals and objectives with short term gains. It is then replaced with give me the results for whatever it takes. Recognition and reward is purely by way of results. It is not to say the olden ways is not driven by results, but the results has to take cognizance of longer term needs to be done, but cause a short term setback.
The present day phenomena as such breeds unhealthy buildup such as back stabbing, silo mentality, a break-up against a total organization. While people will not admit it, this is the case at ground level. If it is nothing to do with me, forget it. If people do not ask for it, forget it. Gone are the days, where guidance , coaching , real mentoring takes place from the supervisor. Nowadays, it is either I say you listen, or if you cannot deliver, you are not good enough. It’s a dog eat dog world now. One is as good as delivering your next result, the past is immaterial.
Imagine how one started with all the positive, the strengths, but as time goes by, shifted to the weaknesses. If we can reflect and realize this, then we must constantly remind ourselves to always go back to the original moment, when we place focus on the strengths that we first employ someone, we first befriend someone or when we marry our partner, then we will always be able to sustain the relationship and the passion. In my working years, I have seen employee being treated well for good performance, but over time sidelined and marginalized. Why, not because they are not good enough, but managing the perception, selling yourself is key, not the result. Because of perceived new traits that are found in so called new talent.
Take another case of the family, how eager and passionate when one enters into a new relationship. Over time, things are taken for granted. We look at the other girls/women who are more desirable. So what then, one start to find fault with your own wife, girl-friends, children, parents. We think well of other people’s wife, girlfriend, children, mother or even maid. The truth is, we ourselves are changing our own thinking.
A bird in hand is better than 2 in the bushes. So let us reflect on what we have on hand, the good things that you can have and do now. And let’s work towards rekindling the spirit and find the reasons and passions you once had. We will all be happier.
Posted by
Ivan
